The Oeths

7 Months and Growing!

2011-11-25T03:31:00.004-06:00

I feel like Sarahlynne's 6 month just disappeared into thin air. I can't believe she's on the downward side of turning a year. On her 7 month birthday she cut her first tooth, and the second came shortly after. She's been sick with croup and a sinus infection the majority of her 7th month but continues to be one of the happiest babies on the face of the planet. She's starting to talk (Dada, hi, bye bye and MaMa when she's REALLY mad!). She is a loving sweet baby and seriously makes our house so much happier! Here are some things she loves at 7 months:

*Trying to crawl. Rocking on all fours, and then inevitably going backwards, typically getting her back half stuck under a couch!

*Skyping with family.

*Talking to Grandma on the phone.

*Singing patty cake and then bouncing and squealing "yahhhhh" after each time. Then grabbing my hands to start again.

*Watching Sesame Street's Word on the Street with JoJo.

*Watching Mommy do things in the kitchen.

*Sleeping in her swing.

*When Daddy comes home from work. He always get a squeal, and most notably the last few days, a wave and a "hi Dada!" followed by LOTS of giggles. Girl loves her Daddy.

*Bath time! And playing until ALL the water is gone.

*Eating. Everything and anything!

Here are her 7 month pictures out in her first and last fall for the next few years!

I see those teeth!

She knows the drill.

Love those dimples. <3

Yummy! A leaf!

I love you baby girl. Slow down please. You're growing too fast for this Mommy. I love you much too much.

1/2 Year (A wee bit late!)

2011-11-13T07:00:00.006-06:00

So this post is late. Like really late. But, better late than never right? When her six month birthday hit, I seriously could NOT believe it'd been 1/2 a year. It flew by so fast. And I still can't believe how quickly she is growing, and changing and how beautiful she is, inside and out. Such a ray of sunshine. She started eating cereal, sitting up, and blabbering more and more. She wanted to pretend she could crawl, but instead just rolled. Everywhere. She also started waving and signing "All Gone". Here are a few things Sarahlynne loved at six months:

*Jumping. Of any kind. All the time.

*Rolling from one end of the room to another. Then laughing hysterically about it.

*Being tickled.

*Snuggles. Especially with Mommy.

*Going in circles on her circle walker.

*Watching the boys in play in the playroom.

*Eating dinner at the table with the family in her bumbo.

*Sitting up on her own.

*Being outside.

*Layla Belle. Especially when Layla licks her face. She thinks it's hilarious.

Here's a few photos I snapped the day she turned 6 months:

Chuckling at her brothers.

Concerned face.

Got her toenails painted for the first time!

Sweet baby hands.

Mommy, no more photos, please!

Lovin' the bumbo.

Pretty, pretty girl.

<3 Happy baby.

We love you sweet princess. More and more every day. Don't grow so fast. Love you much to much.

5 Months Young

2011-09-09T11:25:00.007-05:00

So, I'm a little behind on blogging, but Sarahlynne turned 5 months on 5 September. These shots were taken the day after! She is sitting up on her own for short periods, talking up a storm, eating cereal and oatmeal like a champ and trying her hardest to low crawl. She is seriously such a light in our lives. Here are a few things Sarah loves these days:

*Watching Jacob's soccer practice. Not to mention all the attention kid give her.

*Greetings. If you walk into a room and go past her and not acknowledge he, she gets her feelings hurt and you will most definitely see the bottom lip.

*Dinner time in her bumbo. Now that she is eating some solids, she LOVES sitting at the dinner table in her bumbo with the family.

*Pizza Crust.

*Being tossed in the air by Daddy.

*Bath Time! She likes to kick her feet to splash!

*Swinging on the swings at the playground with Mommy.

*Her hands and feet. I've never seen a baby study her hands and feet as much as this girl.

*Laughing for no good reason. So hard she snorts. It. is. awesome.

*Napping in her crib.

*Snuggle time.

*Anything where she can see herself (i.e. mirror, facetime etc.)

*Skyping with Grandma is a DEFINITE favorite. Especially now that she can sit up and chat.

*Talking with her hands.

*Being a little sister. Girl ADORES her brother.

*Mornings. Nothing like waking up to her grabbing her toes, rolling like and egg and laughing and talking in her crib.

*Her sleep. Still my 12 hour baby!

And here are her 5 month shots:

I'm tellin' ya, girl LOVES her toes!

Thanks for being so much sunshine in our house, baby girl. Slow down, don't grow so fast. Mommy loves you so so much.

Happy 7 Years Punkin'...

2011-08-20T11:56:00.004-05:00

It's really amazing how much can happen in 7 years:

3 moves

2 states

a new country

countless European adventures

4 houses

8 cars

1 motorcycle

lots of puppies

3 amazing kids

1 baby in heaven

1 car accident

1 military deployment

1 spousal deployment {for medical tests and the birth of JoJo}

becoming a business owner

and so much more....

On Aug. 21, 2004 I married both my best friend and the love of my life. I never imagined then how fast 7 years would fly, or even how much could happen in a short 7 years.

The beginning of our marriage was a whirlwind, from improvising the big wedding I'd planned for so long to a simple beach wedding with just our parents, to switching jobs and being apart the first 4 months of our marriage, to getting pregnant with our surprise first child only 10 months after we'd been married. This is when we truly began to learn that God's timing would never be our own.

It's been an amazing 7 years growing and learning. It's always humbling to look back at where you started out and then see where you end up so many years later. And to think back at all the people and things that changed you, and realize how blessed you truly are. For not only has it been an amazing 7 years growing and learning with my best friend, but one that has been blessed by other amazing couples who push us and pull us to emulate the love of Christ in our marriage. What an incredible impact that has had on how we grow and learn.

It's been 7 years of both hardships of and blessing. We have learned together how to take things as they come, head on, and overcome them standing side by side, holding each other up. And there is no one I'd rather fight next to, or anyone else I'd rather have hold me up when I am falling. He has been my biggest motivation and encouragement during times of hardship, pushing me to trust and be confident in myself. He has also been my biggest fan and encourager in blessings as well. I rejoice in the 7 years of blessing, and am ever so grateful for the 7 years with hardships that have taught us to grow together.

And aside from all of these things, it's been 7 years of FUN. What a blessing it has been to be married to someone who knows all of my quirky ways, and appreciates them and encourages them, and even sometimes plays along with them. From funny faces, to nights of trivial pursuit to playground hopping to silly dance parties and more, I am grateful for the laughter and joy and fun the last 7 years has brought to my life!

Thank you, my love, for loving me these last 7 years, and for taking me as I am. For always encouraging me to be confident in who I am and what I have to bring to the table {even when you have to convince me I have something to bring to the table}. Thank you for making life fun and for continuing to be spontaneous even after 7 years. Thank you for remembering the little things, and making sure you surprise me from time to time. Thank you for flirting with me, and making me feel beautiful still, even after 7 years and 3 kids. It is more important to me than you could ever imagine. Thank you for making me feel important and for making family time important. Thank you for loving our children; for showing the Bash Brothers how they should treat their wives when they get older, and for showing our princess how she should be treated by her future husband, and for telling her she is beautiful, both inside and out. Thank you for always encouraging me to pursue my dreams and take time for myself. Thank you for giving me three BEAUTIFUL children.

For giving me one who is hard to handle, and as curious as they come. One with stubbornness and a warrior's spirit, but a heart of compassion for those around him. It teaches me patience and unconditional love in ways that I never thought I could have them, but reminds me constantly that both of His hands are equally skilled, and that He will use both the stubborn ways and the rich compassion to make Jacob something great.

Thank you for giving me one that is silly and light hearted. One who is a Momma's boy and takes care of me. One who makes other's hearts happy and one that lights up the room with his presence. One with a gentle spirit. He reminds me to be gentle and fun loving, and not take life too seriously. One who helps me remember that relationships and the people who surround us are what life is about. Joshua exemplifies what God built us for--to take care of one another and build each other up through relationship.

And thank you for giving me a sweet princess. One who has such a fantastic mix of her brothers. One who is able to be independent, but desires the love around her and wants to make others happy. One who is smiley and cuddly. One who has the heart of my Mother and Grandmother. She reminds me how tender a heart is, and makes my heart happy and light. I think she will be one of empathy, and one to hold her ground, and keep her feet solidly rested in the hands of Jesus.

Thank you for loving me. I love you more than anything and more than ever, punkin'. Thank you for making life fun and exciting. You are more than I could have ever asked for in a husband and father, and I can't wait for another 7 years and more.

Happy Anniversary.

It's been 1/3 of a year....

2011-08-07T07:42:00.006-05:00

Sarahlynne was 4 months old on the 5th. I can't believe it. She's a third of a year old. And more amazing than ever. She smiles and laughs and tells stories. Really, she's the life of the party. She is more fun than I could have ever imagined, and even more beautiful. Both inside and out. I love watching her personality sprout more every day, and adore waking up to the toothless grin every morning when she is babbling in her crib. I love that she knows her name now and will look at you with that big smile when you call her. I love that she belly laughs and is getting more ticklish by the day. She is more incredible with each passing day and way more awesome than I ever imagined. At 4 months her stats were 14.1 lbs and 24.5 in. Here are some things about sweet Sarahlynne at 4 months:

*She likes to play the screaming game with Daddy. This is a game Aaron has taught all three kids at about this age. Now every day when he returns from work, the first thing she does when she notices him is grin from ear to ear and let out a scream, hoping he wants to play!

*She LOVES sitting up and watching. Which is one reason why her Bumbo is such a hit!

*She loves her jumper that hangs from the doorframe. Bounce, bounce, bounce baby!

*She loves being outside.

*Mornings are her favorite.

*Can't Buy Me Love by the Beatles makes her giggle. It may be more about watching Mommy dance ridiculously than the actual song though.

*She likes dancing with Daddy around the living room.

*Tummy time is still a winner.

*Her favorite way to sleep is on her side.

*She still hates her car seat, but is getting better about being in it when she's awake.

*She has a schedule, and she likes to stick to it. Sleep 10-12 hours, wake up, play for 2 hours, sleep for 45 minutes or so, play for 3 hours, sleep for 3-4 hours and then awake until bedtime at about 9:30 pm.

*She eats 8 oz. at a time about 4 times a day, and is getting ready to start cereal this week!

*Her swing is still a happy place, and watching Mommy do the dirty work around the house is just too much fun!

*She doesn't like when Mommy leaves for all day. When I come home she greats me lovingly and then proceeds to show me how angry she is with me for approximately one hour, after which she turns the switch to snuggling and laughing with me again. Silly. girl.

Here are a few shots from the day and the day after she turned 4 months. She wasn't very cooperative this time around!

Laughing at Daddy. Cloth diapers are her favorite.

My pretty girl.

Buddha Baby. Check out that belly!

Giggles.

So beautiful. Love those baby blues.

Clearly unhappy about taking photos.

Those eyelashes just keep getting longer and longer.

She melts my heart. Every time.

Little toes.

Seriously, Mom/

Sweet baby girl, I love you so. You're growing oh so fast, and I'm so proud to be your Mommy. I love you, pretty pretty princess.

It's been 3 years....

2011-07-07T05:53:00.003-05:00

On Sunday July 3, it had been three years since our car accident. On July 3, 2008 at about 5:30pm we decided to make a trip to IKEA for pillows since our TMO stuff had just gotten delivered and get some Pizza Hut as this pregnant Mama was craving it. It was a bit rainy and wet, but we piled into Lady Liberty (our Focus) and were off. About 3 minutes away from our house on one of the backroads leading to the autobahn, we went around a corner to see a LandRover hydroplaning sideways straight at us. There was nothing Aaron could do to avoid it, and we hit straight into the side of it as the front of the Land Rover went over the guardrail. Aaron got out immediately and got Jacob out of his carseat. Aside from biting his tongue and being shaken up, Cubby was untouched. Aaron had a few burns on his nose from the air bag, but aside from that was in good shape. It took me a minute to catch my breath and upon trying to get out of the car realized I couldn't much move my legs or feet. I got out and over the guardrail into the grass and a few nice people who were behind us got out and started cleaning several cuts I had on my legs. I looked down to see my feet, and knew for certain they were broken. I also knew my wrist was broken, and had fears of a broken hip. At this point, I didn't care about any of that, but only the unborn baby I carried in my stomach (now sweet amazing Joshua!).

The ambulance arrived as did the helicopter carrying a doctor to check me out. We arrived at the hospital to find another American family from our town already there to meet us. They told us they had passed the accident and seen Jacob in the front of the ambulance. They were an incredible blessing and took Jacob for most of the evening. Another good friend who we considered family and who was at Dyess with us arrived shortly after and helped us the next three days with keeping Jacob and so many other things.

The doctors found I had five broken bones in my foot and a broken wrist, and while my other foot wasn't broken it was very badly sprained (it was two months before I could pressure on it). They wouldn't give me pain meds or go in to do surgery or set the foot because I was pregnant. This led to several problems down the line, but regardless we are all alive.

After being in a wheelchair for almost two months, I was finally walking again with a cane. I didn't drive for several months and then headed to the states to deliver Joshua. Also while I was there, I had corrective foot surgery which included a rod and two screws to repair the damage done by not having immediate trauma surgery. The recovery from the surgery after Joshua was born was 6 months (at the very least) and I was still walking with a cane about 9 months after the surgery.

Now, three years after, I still struggle with my foot and have a permanent nerve disorder caused by the accident and surgery. But beyond that, life is mostly normal. As I look back, I cannot believe how incredibly blessed we are that we are all alive. Each time I look at JoJo or hear his little laugh I am more and more grateful for life. The accident was a big changing point for us, and has impacted us all a great deal. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for all of us, for I know he kept us here for a reason.

Passenger's side of the car where I was sitting.

Aaron's side and the front. So grateful for a car that wrecked just the way it was supposed to.

The airbags.

The truck wouldn't close and the spare was coming out. We're not sure where all the glass came from.

Steering wheel column. We still have the blinker.

Looking from the backseat.

Ever so grateful....

And we hit the 3 month mark!

2011-07-07T02:34:00.003-05:00

So, I'm having a hard time believing that on Tuesday, my sweet baby girl turned 3 months old. I know I've said it with all three kids, but time passes so fast. And as much as I can't wait to see her sitting up by herself, eating cereal, playing with toys, saying Mama and Dada etc., I can't help but just wish she would stay this size for a little longer. I'm learning to not wish away the time I have with her this size in my excitement for all the things she's going to be doing in the future.

With each day that passes she truly does get more incredible. You can already tell she has a gentle heart, but can still tell you what she wants/needs. She's a lot of Joshua with a touch of Jacob, and I think she's just the perfect combination. Her smiles and coos and oohs and aahs steal my heart (and the heart of three certain boys that live with me too! :)). I absolutely adore her.

A few things about sweet Sarahlynne at three months:

*She still adores her brothers. They are one of the funniest things in the world to this baby girl.

*She vies for and wants Daddy's attention more than anyone in the house. If he is playing with her and takes a break to look elsewhere she yells until he looks back at her. She is already learning what it is like to be treated right by a boy, and I am so lucky she has her Daddy to let her know she is beautiful, both inside and out.

*She still loves to eat, but does NOT like the infant premium formula. Here's to hoping the commissary get the lipil back in soon!

*She's coming around to her bows. She didn't used to like the so much, but I think Mommy is conditioning her to love them!

*She LOVES to be sitting upright or looking out at the world.

*She loves walks in the stroller.

*She loves Layla Belle

*She's a diaper baby. If she's upset and you take her clothes off and let her kick and play in her diaper she's instantly happy.

*She knows when she wants to be held, but she also knows when she needs some time to just play by herself. And she's a mix of both. Dependent with a streak of independence.

*She loves her "Busy Doggy Bear". And always tries to cover her face when she sleeps.

*She loves hitting the toys hanging from her mat and laughing hysterically at them.

*She likes to sit in her swing in the kitchen and watch Mommy do dishes and cook.

*If I'm sitting next to her folding laundry, she has to have her feet resting on my leg, if I move my leg this results in an unhappy baby.

*Naps in her crib are her favorite.

*12 hours is her preference for sleeping at night. Bless her.

And here a few pictures from the 4th (day before she turned 3 months), and Tuesday at 3 months.

Pretty Baby's First 4th of July.

She was not too thrilled. It was bedtime!

"Mom quit taking my picture!"

"Ugh, more pictures!"

Holding up her head like a champ!

Check those eyelashes. Now you see why Daddy needs a gun!

Not entirely amused by my antics!

And there's my pretty girl's smile (thank you, JoJo!)

You are beautiful from the top of your head to the tip of your toes, baby girl. Don't grow too fast. Mommy loves you more than the very most!

Sweet Baby girl @ 2 months

2011-06-14T10:07:00.003-05:00

So, this post is about 2 weeks late, but its time to do Sarahlynne's 2 month update! At her check up she was 11 lb 11 oz and 23 inches long! She was a trooper with her shots! Took the oral stuff like a champ. Didn't make a peep for the first two shots and then screamed like her feelings were hurt for the last one, but a little snuggle from Mommy and all was well. She was SUPER grumpy the rest of the day, but it wore off pretty quick. She still has super blue eyes and her hair is growing fast. She's smiling and playing now, and is just more fun than I ever imagined. Her personality is a LOT like JoJo's at this age, which makes me very excited. She sleeps between 7 and 10 hours a night, and is eating 6 oz. every 4 hours during the day. Growing so fast! Some things she currently loves:

*Her minky blanket

*Her "Doggy Busy Bear" as JoJo calls it (Her little blankie!)

*Mirrors, or ANYTHING she can see herself in. She thinks its hilarious

*Quiet morning feeding with Mommy.

*Being called Pretty Pretty Princess and being told she's loved. Smiles every time.

*JoJo singing Itsy Bitsy Spider and Wheels on the Bus to her.

*Hitting the toys on her play mat. Especially the round one with beads that spins.

*Eating

*Her cloth diapers. When we put disposables on her, she screams the very second she is wet. She doesn't like them!

*Being in the Moby wrap with Mommy.

*Walks in the stroller.

*Seeing Granmda on Skype and listening to people on the phone.

*Sleeping on Daddy's chest.

*Being on her belly

She is growing so so fast. And while I can't wait for all the things coming, I'm savoring every sweet moment. Those little baby girl smiles melt my heart. I love you pretty, pretty princess, and Mommy can't wait to keep watching you grow!

On a walk. Such a happy girl.

Sleeping on one of our adventures.

Mommy love.

Hanging out with mommy. Sweet baby blues.

I don't know what this face is, but she's a trooper on our outings!

Tummy time!

This is how I feel a lot of the time, baby girl!

Two months old, and pretty as ever. <3

Great Great Grandma Sugar

2011-05-20T07:46:00.004-05:00

This is Aaron's Great Grandma Faries. Also the boy's Great Great Grandma, also known as Gramma Sugar by Jacob and Joshua:

She was an AMAZING lady. I met her a LONG time ago when Aaron and I first met sometime in junior high. She was always pretty feisty and decided on spot if she liked you or not, even if it was solely based on how you touched one of her collectors dolls she had all over her house. I'd like to think she liked me as she was always sweet to me, and often gave me ammo to use against Aaron! When Aaron was away at boot camp, I went to Marshall to see her and Gramma Jane a few times, and every time she'd have Gramma Jane put in the video of Aaron singing in a trash can at church, the video of Aaron being a turd to Gramma Jane while she was trying to zip his jacket and the video of him punching a little girl from the other side of a glass door. I think she was trying to make sure I really wanted to marry him! LoL!

Anyway, Grandma Faries passed away on Wednesday at an incredible 99 years old. She lived WELL beyond her years, and so many times she would be in the hospital, everyone would think it was the end and she'd come home healthier than ever two days later. She got to come to Texas to visit when Jacob was born, and for Christmas one time, she was there when Joshua was born, and best of all she was a HUGE part of Aaron's life growing up, which makes her extra special to me.

The best pictures of Gramma are on our other computer, but here are a few. She was an incredible woman, will be sorely missed and was well loved by everyone. And not many people can say they lived to have SIX great, great grandchildren. A pretty incredible thing, and I am BLESSED that my kids got the opportunity to meet her and know they had a great great grandma! Be nice up there, Grandma!

Meeting Joshua after he was born in Columbia. Grandma LOVED babies!

Before Joshua was born. Dinner at Andy's with the Oeth bunch and the Grammas.

Grandma Faries at Jacob's third birthday party in Columbia at Bonkers.

Aaron showing off Joshua to Grandma Faries in Columbia

Kevin and Grandma crashed out after a delicious meal at Andy's. How they both enjoyed spending their time!

Hope you are enjoying the streets of gold, Grandma. See you when we get there!

Another 4 Years...

2011-05-11T12:31:00.000-05:00

So, for those of you that don't know Aaron and I's history, we met when we were 12. We dated off an on in junior high and high school and then the beginning of our junior year, went our separate ways. We didn't talk again until the spring of our senior year. I started going to YoungLife more often, and Aaron was a regular. I got really sick my senior year in high school, and much to my surprise one night after YoungLife, Aaron sent me a message asking what was going on etc. etc. We started talking regularly again and he asked me to go to YoungLife camp that summer. Best decision ever. We both got up early every morning and spent quiet time on a bench under this awesome willow tree.

The awesome Windy Gap willow tree.

When we returned we were inseparable for quite some time. College started, and we parted ways a bit, and then December of my Freshman year we started hanging out again. We got back together on New Year's Eve and within two days were pretty much planning our wedding. Realistically, we would have had to have waited a LONG time to get married. I was on a full ROTC scholarship and he worked at a local gym, and we just couldn't have afforded to get married until I commissioned. Then one day in Feb. after I couldn't get a hold of him ALL day, he called and asked to meet me at my parents house. He met me there, came in and said "So, I joined the Air Force." I was excited because I knew it meant we'd be able to get married sooner. That was 7 1/2 years ago.

I never imagined when he told me that news that we'd end up getting married 6 months later on a little beach in Mississippi with just our parents. Or that a year and a half later we'd be blessed with our first child. Or that 7 1/2 years from then we'd have already lived in two different states, another country and have two more beautiful children. But here we are, 7 1/2 years into a great career and signing on for another 4.

It has been nothing but an honor to be a military wife, and serve a greater role than I'd ever imagined. There really is nowhere else in life I could picture myself being. It's not always easy, and it's not always fun, but it is truly a blessing. Whenever Aaron gets an award or progresses in his career, it is so fun to watch. I am about as proud as a wife can get. I am nothing but grateful that this career has afforded us a great life, and a stable future. Absolutely worth the sweat, hard work and sacrifice put in by us all.

So here's to you, punkin'. Thanks for working hard so that we can raise the Bash Brothers and our little princess without having to constantly worry. Thanks for being supportive in my endeavors and working to make them successful even when you are working more than your share of hours. Thank you for serving our country in hopes that when Jacob, Joshua and Sarahlynne grow up they won't have to worry about the same fights we've been plagued with for a decade now. You are beyond awesome and I am proud to be your wife. Thanks for taking us out to the planes for your reenlistment. I love you!

JoJo standing by Daddy looking at the plane before Daddy goes up.

Aaron and Capt. McGrath on the plane. Getting ready to take the oath.

Love what this represents. An American reenlisting on a German tornado. Both flags hanging together in the background.

Taking the oath.

Aaron took the boys up to look at the plane. They could hardly contain themselves.

Proud to call him husband, and Daddy!

Now, to find out what the Air Force holds for us next! Come on EQUAL listings!!

4 weeks

2011-05-03T13:39:00.004-05:00

I never realized how fast 4 weeks passes. That is until Sarahlynne arrived. I'm sure I've realized it at least two other times in my life after both the boys were born, but I've noticed it especially with her. So much happens and it passes so quickly. In the past 4 weeks:

I've registered Jacob for kindergarten

We had Sarahlynne

Mom came to visit

Aaron went on paternity leave

We've had at least 5 various doctor's appointments

We've had 8 t-ball practices and 2 t-ball games

I've filled out {and picked up} approx. a gagillion pieces of paperwork

Mom went home

Aaron went back to work

and the list goes on....

And in the middle of all that I've been relishing every moment with my sweet baby girl. I took her to the doctor yesterday and she already weighs 8 lbs 10 oz. She is 22 inches long. She is growing every second of every day it seems. And sometimes, I just want to stop time. Just for a little while. But alas, I can't and my baby girl is 4 weeks old today. And what a beauty she is already becoming.

We gave her the name Sarahlynne Louise (Louise after my mom), and like both of the boys her name has great meaning. It means beautiful princess warrior. And every day I watch her grow I feel a tug at my heart to raise her up to embody that in all respects. It is a challenge, and one that God surely will give us strength to fulfill. She is wonderful and I can't wait to watch her grow. That being said, here are a few things about her at 4 weeks, and some pictures taken today!

She LOVES her boppy.

5 oz. formula before bed keeps her happy for 6 hours, and aside from a feeding at around 3:30 or 4:00--we sleep ALL night.

Her swing is a happy place.

She like to lay on her belly over my knees while we're at the dinner table. She doesn't want it any other way. I think when she's in her hammock she feels left out.

She HATES her car seat.

She adores Daddy.

She rolls tummy to back-both ways.

Mommy's chest is her most favorite place to sleep.

She LOVES being in the Moby.

And seeing family and friends on skype.

Magnum Face.

Sweet, SWEET Baby Blues.

Don't grow too fast little punkin'. Mommy loves you so.

White and Green Chili (Mexican Chili)

2011-05-01T12:39:00.003-05:00

This is actually a recipe I adapted from one of Racheal Ray's recipes, but I altered it after the first time I made it to fit my personal preferences better! It's so beyond tasty, and lots have asked for the recipe so here it is! This recipe is to yield a family of 4-6.

You will need:

4-5 Chicken Breasts, or the equivalent amount of chicken tenders. I've used both.

3 cups Chicken Broth

1 jar Salsa Verde

1 purple onion (chopped)

1 jalapeno (chopped)

3 Cans Great Northern Beans

Cumin (I do mine to taste)

Crushed coriander seed (I do mine to taste)

Salt

Pepper

Olive Oil

Cilantro

Limes

Mexican Cheese (Shredded)

Your favorite tortilla chip (I prefer the blue corn! Yum!)

*Boil water and add chicken breasts. Cook until done.

*Chop chicken. I like to use a pizza cutter to dice it. It gives good sizes and is quick and easy!

*In a pot (I like to my cast iron dutch oven!) heat olive oil. Add chicken, salt and pepper and let it simmer a little.

*Add purple onion and jalapeno. Cook for approximately 3 minutes, stirring occasionally.

*Add cumin and crushed coriander and stir. Then add the salsa verde

*After cooking for a few minutes, add chicken broth.

*Add one and a half cans of the beans. With the other can and a half, smash beans first, to make a more chili feel, if you prefer.

*Squeeze in some lime juice and let it simmer until its hot enough to your liking!

*Add cilantro shortly before serving.

Serve with shredded cheese and limes, and dip with the chips to your hearts content. Deeeee-licious!

The Challenges of 3...

2011-04-29T07:41:00.001-05:00

Before I had Sarahlynne, the most common questions I got were:

"Don't you think three kids is a lot?"

"Isn't it going to be hard to handle?"

"Aren't you kind of young for 3 kids? How long have you been married?"

and lastly,

"What?! You still want to have another?"

The answers are as follows:

No, I don't think three kids is a lot.

It might be difficult sometimes, but what incredible blessing in life sometimes isn't difficult?

Just because I choose to live differently than most people these days doesn't mean three kids at 25 & 26 is too young. I've been married almost 7 years. I think I can handle it.

and lastly,

Yes, I want to have another. And possibly foster and adopt. Although, my husband isn't too entirely positive about the first part of that question-so we may just end up with three!

Now that I've HAD Sarahlynne the most common question is just "Isn't it SO much harder that you have three?" The simple answer is no. BUT, there are some things that are more difficult that I hadn't really thought about, so here in short, is a list of things that are different, and things I didn't expect!

*Getting a shower in during the day. With both the boys I just used the little hammock and put it in the bathroom while I showered. But now that Jacob doesn't really nap, and Joshua usually naps during when Sarahlynne is eating, its not so simple! Looks like I'm going to evening showers, or rising before the sun!

*Anything that involves carrying anything for running errands. ESPECIALLY mailing things at the post office. More difficult, but still do-able.

*Spending individual time with each kiddo, when they desire to have individual time. Joshua doesn't understand that when he wants to play a game and Sarahlynne has poop or is eating, Mommy can't just leave her there to play. And he doesn't like to wait. It's a little easier on the Jacob front, because he understands, but its a tough one. Both for learning balance, and the Mommy's heart!

*Bedtime! I've had to learn to stagger much more because of feeding times etc. etc. This is one part of the day that each kid does get their own respective Mommy/Daddy time, so it's super important. I think I've got that one mostly figured out though!

*The LAUNDRY! I know its just one extra tiny little person, but I feel like my laundry load has quadrupled! I don't understand. Maybe its just that I have less time to do it? I'm not sure, but YIKES!

*The time it takes to get out of the house and get everyone in and buckled in the van. Again I know its just one little extra person, but it happens to be one that gets hungry at the most inconvenient times, pee on clothes when its least expected and soil diapers as we're walking out the door. it was nothing that wasn't a challenge with the other two too--I just forgot about it, I suppose!

I'm sure I'll think of more things as time goes on and sweet baby girl gets more mobile, but for now, its mostly just another beautiful child who brings lots of sunshine to my life. There truly is nothing like a newborn cuddle. <3

Recovering...

2011-03-01T13:44:00.005-06:00

It's been a rough week. Too much sickness in this house. A solid week of sleeping on the couch, catching throw-up, cleaning up poo, doing endless laundry of sheets, towels, blankies and doggies, lots of consoling of crying after telling little men they couldn't have milk or other delicious things and lots of snuggling has me worn out. Something about the viruses here--they just don't go away. But after a solid week of all that, the sun came out today. It was beautiful. Still a little brisk, but I decided I should try to get the boys out at least a little bit, so we went to the playground early this evening just long enough to get some fresh air and it was VERY appreciated by the boys.

Best Buddies walking home together.

JoJo LOOOVES the slide!

"Take a picture of me Mommy!"

Jacob trying to spin them on the merry-go-round.

Layla Belle came too.

JoJo watching something

Cubby going down the slide. It really is that fast!

This sums them up! Haha. JoJo is not pleased with Jacob squeezing him!

Hi Mom! Excuse the hair--they both need serious hair cuts!

Crossing the bridge by himself for the first time. Very concentrated!

Then this evening, after breakfast for dinner, the three boys sat and felt Sarahlynne kick and squirm. Jacob and Joshua got so much delight out of it. It was hilarious. And upon snuggling in the recliner with JoJo before bed, he looked up at me and said "Love you the most Mommy. JoJo and Mommy very best friends." Yes, JoJo, yes indeed. What a way to end an awful week. Thank you Jesus for fun some sunshine, a little fun at the park and a perfect ending to a rough week. Even in the rough patches, I am so far beyond blessed. Incredible how it can be so easily missed when we are overwhelmed, and then show up so suddenly in the simplest of moments. For that, I am thankful.

The Blessing of a Husband

2011-01-30T14:45:00.003-06:00

This weekend, my husband blessed me. He helped me deal with kid puke, and kid diarrhea. He kept up with ALL the dishes and took care of the boys to include cooking while I had photo sessions. And best of all, tonight he cleaned out the nasty "we've had sick kids all weekend" bath tub, and ran me a hot bubble bath, complete with a fireplace application on his computer. Amazing. And all without even having to ask. He is awesome. And I'm lucky he chose me for his bride. It's weekends like this that remind me how truly lucky I am. I love you, punkin'.

Broken People

2011-01-21T03:45:00.002-06:00

So, as I sit here avoiding all the housework, business work and baby stuff I need to get done, I've been dwelling on this Mutemath lyric from their song Pins and Needles: "And I'm becoming fond of broken people, as I see that I am one of them."

I have always been one of those that stands up for the underdog, that always tries to give people the benefit of the doubt, that has LOVED broken people. It wasn't until recently though that I started realizing how broken I was. I had always been so empathetic to others, almost to the point of feeling sorry for them sometimes, that I never stopped to look at my own crap. My own convictions. I so easily covered them with others, that I sometimes didn't see how much I was actually judging them. I was giving of myself to them because I thought they needed me. And as much as I'm ashamed to admit that, I am beyond thankful for this conviction.

It was through an online forum I often read that I began to realize this. There as a pretty nasty conversation taking place about a number of things from how people parented, to how they didn't take care of themselves or their kids, to how people shouldn't have big families etc. etc. It was ugly, crude, judgmental and downright mean. As I read through it I found myself thinking "Wow, those are the kind of people I would have walked up to in the store and started talking to because they need a friend like me." Wow, how self-righteous is that?

As I dug deeper into that and started contemplating it, I realized something. It wasn't that the empathy, the understanding, the desire to build relationship with those that others wouldn't typically want to wasn't a gift that was given me, but instead I was focusing on the wrong side of that gift. I wasn't focusing on the ONE who gave me that gift, or the purpose in which he gave it to me. I think at one point in my life I was, but since coming to Germany, I realize more and more how self centered it's made me, because it's taken me away from easy ministering, if that makes sense.

The first thing that came to mind as I was being convicted of my own crap while reading this forum was this:

¹ "Judge not, that you be not judged. ²For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. ³Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? ⁴Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? ⁵You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye." Matthew 7:1-5

Woah. Seriously. That log in my eye is HUGE. I'm realizing until I can learn to take the gifts HE has given to me and use them for his glory in the kingdom, I have no place pulling the specks in others eyes. And even when the time comes and as I deal with my convictions, I am going to have to constantly remind myself that helping our brothers with their speck is to be done in love. It is to be realized in love, shared in loved and to be held accountable in love, as I would hope others would do for me with my plank.

The second thing that came to mind as I was mulling over my conviction and how I should be loving others was this:

For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, ³⁶ I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' ³⁷Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? ³⁸And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? ³⁹And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?' ⁴⁰And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.' Matthew 25:35-40

Everything I do is to be for HIS glory. The gifts he gives me or to advance HIS kingdom, not for some twisted sense of self righteousness that makes me feel good about myself. For the way I treat others, I am treating the one who gave everything. Ouch. Talk about a slap in the face to my Redeemer. As I go through this conviction I only pray I can see the image of Christ in each person as they were made, and constantly remember that loving the least of these is not for my own gratification, but for His.

After all, we are all broken. We are all in some way the least of these, no? We all have our vulnerabilities and the areas of our life that are in shambles, whether they are visible from the outside or not. So here is me, admitting, I am broken. And I love others who are broken. And as I sift through my conviction and work on taking out my own log, I am blessed to see that our brokenness can be an incredible gift from our Creator. It can teach us to love more deeply, give of ourselves more openly and help us learn to see people as Christ desires us to see them--for who He created them to be, and not for their brokenness.

Finding Thankfulness

2010-06-09T01:16:00.003-05:00

This past week was kind of a rough one. And it yielded something I didn't quite expect. There were a lot of things this week. There were:

Death

Big pills to swallow

{Metaphorically and Literally}

Hard News

A Dose of Reality

New Realizations, Difficult Ones

{That Meant Things For Me That I Didn't Like}

Sadness

But, in all of that, I found myself feeling something I really didn't expect. Thankfulness. It was kind of like a breath of fresh air. I found myself seeing things differently. Not taking so many things for granted. I am thankful for SO many things.

Life.

A new nephew.

A family day.

Sunshine. And lots of it.

A camera. To capture the little moments we seem to so quickly forget.

My children. They are truly the lights of my life.

My husband. I am truly humbled he chose me for his bride.

Late night chats with my best friend 5,000 miles away.

Early morning skype dates from the other side of the world.

Friends that time don't change.

The ability to cry.

Hugs.

My dog.

Painted nails.

Blue Skies.

Truth.

Giggles.

Germany.

Opportunity.

The simple kindnesses of others, in which they give with no expectation of receiving.

The mere fact that our Creator gave me the ability to find THANKFULNESS in a trying time. What a gift. One in which I am abundantly grateful for. One in which I truly hope I do not easily forget. So today, I am thankful

A Birthday Wish List

2010-06-06T09:23:00.006-05:00

So, it's not often I ask for anything for my birthday. Or really want anything for my birthday. My birthdays tend to just go to crap. Like, Aaron is deployed, or a the week before a landrover crushes us and I break several bones in my body and am in a wheelchair. You know, something always comes up. So, my birthday has kind of become no big thing. But, this year for some reason, upon turning a quarter of a century old, I am excited about my birthday. I've always made it a point to make birthdays a huge deal for those around me. Growing up in high school I always blew up balloons and got huge bags of candy and left them in the office as surprises for my friends. I always make it a point to do extra special things throughout the day for Aaron and the boys on the day of their birth. I LIKE birthdays, just don't ever find anything special about my own, but this year, for some reason, I desire for it to be special. I even made a list of some things I wanted. Yup. I did it. Now, some of this crap is expensive. I know that. I don't expect to get all of it. Or any of it for that matter. But it was fun to be a little indulgent for once. So without further ado, here is my list. My little "want" list for turning a century of a year old in a month or two:

Isn't it cute? Yup, I know.

A trip for me and JoJo to Cali. For me to spend a week with Lisha and meet sweet Ava and JoJo to meet Lisha. I already get this.

So I can walk and lose poundage. Except I want a little different version of this stroller. The one with the 360 degree front wheel.

Kindle baby.

Love this lens. It's the 18-125mm f 3.5-5.6

Cute, no? With all the rain here I need these!

New mom mobile? Yes, please.

Dehydrated fruit snacks. Delicious, and helps lose poundage so I don't eat so much crap.

So, there's a little insight into me. And my wish list. My quarter century crisis desires :) Happy Sunday!

The Blessing of Mommy-Hood

2010-05-10T06:26:00.004-05:00

Last night when we were going to bed, Aaron asked me what I loved most about being a Mom. I think my response to him was something smart mouthed like "Anything that doesn't involve dirty diapers, whining or kids getting busted is my favorite thing.", but in all reality there are SO many things that make being a Mom the best thing in the world. It's no secret that I have rough days with the most strong willed child on the planet, and that I've struggled a lot with my view of what Mommy-hood should look like, in terms of "should I feel guilty if I work?", "Am I any less of a woman because while I love staying home with my boys, I still feel like I have a separate mission field besides that?" etc. etc, BUT I think that has made me look harder at what I absolutely LOVE about being a mom, so here are just a few of my favorite things about the awesome little boys I've been blessed with.

*Dance Parties
*Baby giggles
*Bug Catching with Cubby
*Whispering "I love you" in my ear like it's a big secret.
*Watching them grow into little people.
*Seeing how EXCITED they get to be praised and shown love.
*Watching their wheels turn when they are figuring out something new.
*The insight and wisdom that can only come from a child. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's silly, and sometimes it just what you needed to hear. It's incredible really.
*Being able to take them on adventures and share with them special things that my parents shared with me when I was a kid.
*Watching them grow in the spirit, and being in awe about how they understand things so much easier, like it comes simply to them. True testaments to faith like a child.
*Feeling the immense honor and privilege it is to be their Mom. That God chose Aaron and I to raise them. To bring them up in his love.
*Hearing all the things Jacob did at school and how excited he is by them.
*Story time.
*Movie, popcorn and candy nights with lots of snuggling.
*Cuddles after nap time.
* The trust they so clearly give me.
*Family Hugs.
*Watching them interact with daddy, especially their desire to play and learn guitar with him.
*Knowing that they accept unconditional love, and give it back, with no expectations, other than desiring to be loved and cared for.

And these are just to name a few. My little soldiers make life so much brighter, and it is a blessing to be called Mommy.

Ready for a walk in the bike trailer.

JoJo cracking up.

Cubby and a wishing weed.

Rejoicing in Loss

2010-03-25T10:05:00.003-05:00

So I've been contemplating and reflecting a lot about loss and suffering and hardship the past couple of weeks and how we're really supposed to rejoice in it. The verse I carry so close in my heart and have for has long as I can remember has been James 1:2-4 that reads "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of any kind, for you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I have been pulled and pushed so hard in this area the past few years, and it has again come up in the past couple of weeks, and so again, I have sat contemplating how to find joy in trial and in suffering-and for some reason the past couple days, I have been brought back to our miscarriage and the lessons I learned, and felt compelled to write about it. So, here I am, sharing.

Since Feb. 5, 2008 when we found out we lost the baby a lot of my feelings have changed, and a lot of things have not. I still think about the baby every day. I still often wonder if it would have been a boy or a girl, and I still wonder what life would be like now. Would we have three children instead of two? Would we have a girl to shower with pink and purple things? This photo is all we have to commemorate the 10 short week with had with baby Oeth in utero, but we will keep it and cherish it, for sure:

There are days I'm still sad. But more than that, I have such a peace about what happened and I am grateful, that God knew more than what my earthly eyes could see. I am grateful that later, He gave me the ability to see the big picture, and taught me things I never thought I'd learn through such a painful experience. And even more than that, I am SO grateful that I have a child in heaven that gets to play with the Almighty until I get there to meet him or her. Below is just a small compilation of some of the amazing things God showed me from this experience, and why I think he is re-showing them to me now-I learned to rejoice in loss once, and if I am obedient and find joy in trial, He provides and goes far beyond his promise to provide and grow us in ways we would never imagine.

1)When we had the miscarriage, we had no idea that 4 days later we would be getting orders to middle of nowhere Buechel, Germany. If the pregnancy would have gone on, we would have PCS'd 6 months pregnant. That being said, we would have had our accident 7 1/2 months pregnant. If this would have happened, there is a good chance both me and the baby could have both lost our lives (or one or the other). The risk would have been so much greater. Not only that, but sweet Joshua would have never been conceived. And I believe sweet Joshua is a vital piece of the Kingdom.

2) I love that God used the miscarriage 5-6 months later to grow Aaron's gifts and affirm that baby Joshua was protected and was going to continue growing. After the car accident, the doctor's told us over and over we were going to lose Joshua. Aaron and I were terrified and prayed continually for his safety and continued growth. One night, shortly after I arrived back from the hospital Aaron had a dream that there was an angel sitting in the rocking chair in our room rocking a tiny tiny baby (obviously an in utero size baby). Aaron asked if God was taking this one too. The angel replied "No. He's already taken this one. It just wanted to be close to it's Mother. That one is yours. Protect it." And Aaron was instantly at peace. From then on we knew that Joshua would be fine. And on Feb 17, 2099 100% healthy baby boy, 10 fingers 10 toes. Thank you, Jesus. God used that baby that He took to assure us that Joshua would be okay, and to grow and utilize a gift He wants Aaron to use. God uses ALL of His children. Even those He takes back before we think it is time.

3) God showed us in a way we have never seen what it means to mourn with those who mourn and truly live with those around. We knew we had incredible friends-but they surpassed anything we had ever imagined when this happened to us. Aaron was on TDY to Red Flag when all of this happened and I couldn't believe the way they took care of me. From bringing me all kinds of food, to coming to the house to pray with me, to Erin letting me sleep on her couch all day and use her toilet as a puke bowl while she took Jacob on as one of her own to Lacey hanging out all day and buying me Wing Stop for dinner because it was one of my favorites. Their hearts literally hurt for us. They didn't just take care of our basic needs, or watch Jacob for us. They took care of our hearts. They battled for us. They fought for our protection. They were incredible. They were the epitome of why God built us to live in relationship with one another and be in community.

4) It taught me that just because you have faith, doesn't mean you will be healed. I struggled with this one for a long time. I absolutely believe in the gifts, and absolutely believe in supernatural healing, and was devastated when I wasn't healed in this situation. I wanted that child SO badly. But my eyes weren't yet opened to the big picture. I realize now sometimes the answer is yes and sometimes the answer is no. We can have all the faith in the world, but sometimes we are meant to walk through things for a purpose. Just like certain people are healed for a purpose.

5) I am thankful that I am HIS child, and that my children are HIS children, because I know that my sweet baby is in heaven, playing with Jesus, and that I will get to meet him or her when I get there. And while I am sad I never got to meet him/her, I am grateful for the way things turned out, because I have precious Joshua.

And so, I leave you with this:

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." -Psalm 139: 14-16

Joshua's 1st Birthday Celebration in Photos

2010-02-20T10:30:00.011-06:00

We didn't do anything big for JoJo's birthday. He doesn't like a lot of commotion, and we really just wanted to do something with us, so it was spaghetti and meatballs for dinners, some presents and a little cake made by Mommy! So here's Joshua's birthday fun in photos! Enjoy!

On Jo Jo's actual birthday. Had to get a picture of my sweet 1 year old!

Sweet features. A perfect ear. And a precious curl.

Baby blues. A button nose.

Perfect little feet. Even though they are exceptionally large. He gets that from Mommy!

Perfect little one year old hand.

Eating Dinner! Big boy at the table-Pushed up in his chair, no tray!

Waiting to open presents! He smiled and said cheese! So cute!

Intrigued!

PUT THE CAMERA DOWN, MOM!

His very own computer!

Playing with his new tractor truck. It's awesome.

Another new toy. He loves to stack things!

Gears, gears, gears! The boy loves gears!

Playing gears with daddy.

Ready to taste his cake!

First touches and tastes. I know, the cake is a little sad, but I have obviously not perfected writing on cakes. You can at least tell the red yellow and green colors are balloons! Haha!

EEEEE. Funny faces for Grandma.

Jacob shoving cupcakes in his mouth. Hilarious.

MMMM.

He clearly thoroughly enjoyed his cake! Check out that curl. Love it.

A special birthday treat! Grandma got to join us from across the world on skype to watch JoJo indulge in his birthday cake! Thanks for coming, Grandma!

He wanted Mommy's camera. No dice, big man.

You can't tell me that's not mischief written all over that face...

Trying to pick the chocolate out of his nose. Hate to break it to you, buddy, but that's not going to work!

Looks like it's bath time! I love those chocolatey fingers!

Bath time=fun time!

"How old are you JoJo", to which his reply is shown above!

He was cracking up! Little water dog!

Splish Splash I was taking a bath!

Snuggly time with Daddy waiting for jammies!

It was a good birthday. Can't believe you're one little man. You're growing oh so fast. Slow down a little, if nothing more than for this Mommy's heart. I love you.

Joshua Michael: Age 1

2010-02-17T07:12:00.014-06:00

I can't believe a year ago today we were welcoming this sweet baby boy into the world. Born Feb 17, 2009, 9:36 pm, 7lb 7oz and 20 1/2 inches long, he was all heart. He was our sweet baby, protected by Jesus until the day he graced us with his presence. Joshua has a loving and fragile heart, and a gentle spirit. He has kept us on our toes since the day we found out we were pregnant with him.

Shortly after moving to Germany and a tough beginning of 2008 with the loss of a previous baby, we were ready to try for another. Low and behold, a month after trying we were blessed with a positive on the pregnancy stick, and so began our journey. Our first few appointments were rough, as Joshua was not growing according to schedule and was much too small for his gestational age. they kept telling us to prepare to lose him also, as I had a large hematoma on my uterus that didn't appear to be getting any smaller and that was pretty much suffocating his gestational sac. We prayed and prayed for little Joshua and went back to the OB to check my hormone levels 1-2 times a week. Then when I was 8 weeks pregnant (Joshua was still only measuring 3-4 weeks at this time, and my levels were just evening out) we were in an awful car accident. I had 5 broken bones in my foot and a broken wrist, and the hematoma in my uterus grow. The doctors at the hospital here in Germany told us they were playing the waiting game for us to lose the baby so they could operate. We were so worried, but prayed and prayed. After getting out of the hospital I was seeing the OB 2x a week, and each time he was shocked to see that sweet Joshua was beginning to grow. They were continually telling us all of the complications he could have at birth as a result of the accident, but we continued to pray (as well as our amazing prayer warrior friends!), and he continued to grow more and more perfectly. During labor Joshua's heart kept dropping into the 60's and they were worried the labor was going to be too hard on him and we were going to have to do an emergent C-section, but sweet baby boy fought on and was able to be delivered naturally.

Since he was born he has had a tight hold on this Mommy's heart. He is like a breath of fresh air. A sweet kind heart that loves to snuggle and sleep and be next to Mommy and Daddy and brother. He loves to laugh and go with the flow. He has Mommy's demeanor but Daddy's ability to read those around him. he is strong, yet gentle in spirit-and a sensitive heart. He is his Mommy's child, and while he is strong, there is a fragile-ness about him. I think he will have the ability to be broken hearted for people. I think he'll be able to see people simply-the way Jesus sees them, and be able to love them with an unconditional love. He is an empathizer and even at this young age is full of compassion. He is a beautiful soul.

He loves to eat, can't keep his hands off the guitar, loves to dance and listen to music, is the most ticklest child I've ever met, and finds pleasure in the simplest, silliest things. He LOVES to have his shoes and socks taken off and laughs hysterically. He loves to be praised when he does new things, and he is quick to learn. He is heartbroken if you return home without acknowledging him, and gives the warmest welcome home hugs and kisses in the world. He demands attention, but only to affirm that he is loved.

He is fragile, a gentle and humble heart. Protected and loved, he is going to be an amazing tool for the Kingdom. He is my littlest sunshine-growing much to fast for this Mommy's heart. I love you, sweetest Jo Bean. Thanks for bringing sunshine, happiness and lots of giggles to my life. You bless me every day, and I am so happy that Jesus protected you-for I know he has great plans for you. I love you, wee man.

Our first photo of sweet Joshua.

3-D image taken at 36 weeks.

Joshua Michael Oeth 2-17-09 9:36pm 7lb 7oz. 20 1/2in. Pure perfection.

First family photo!

My boys. Joshua about 1 week old.

Tired baby. A couple weeks here.

Crashed.

Precious. No other words.

Back with Daddy in Germany! Eating Schnitzel in Zell!

With Mommy on the tire swing at the park. 2 1/2 months-ish.

Playing! About 3 months!

Hanging out with brother!

Silly boys! About 3 1/2 months!

First food! 4 months!

So happy!

Hanging out on the couch together. Clearly Joshua thinks he is number 1.

Sweet baby.

Getting so big. Almost 5 months. Camping in the backyard.

6 month photo shoot. Sweet feet.

6 month photo shoot.

In Brussels with mommy for her birthday in the Grand Place.

Getting ready to swim at the hotel in Brussels! This is when we learned he was a water dog!

Crashed out.

Enjoying his toes at the Cologne Chocolate Museum!

A little over 6 months old at Edelweiss in the Bavarian Alps.

Before a hike with Mommy and the boys. Bundled up for the rain!

Loving the bouncer! This one didn't get flipped! Whoops!

Edelweiss. So handsome.

Sitting in the chair all by himself! Bavarian Alps behind him! Lucky kid!

Going to the top of the tallest Bavarian Alp in a cable car. He looks a little scared, but he was excited when we got to the top!

Apparently he's ready to feed himself! About 7 months!

Daddy love. Almost 8 months here, I think!

Getting SO BIG! In the valley at the castle in Manderscheid.

Fall photo session for the family. Go Chiefs!

Uh Oh! This is when JoJo got into the green marker! About 9 1/2 months old! Silly boy!

First taste of apfelsaft at the apple festival in Ulmen! Yum Yum!

Halloween 09'! Our little rocker!

Thanksgiving! He was just having to much fun to sit still!

Thanksgiving session! About 9 months-a little older!

From his 1 year. It's a little early in the line-up, but oh well!

Enjoying the snow from the sled-because he doesn't like to sit in it!

Snotty nosed baby. So precious.

First Christmas 2009! Rockin' Stocking!

His first snow experience! Love my baby blues!

Playing with Grandma when she came to visit-11 months!

He has 5 teeth here! About 11 1/2 months old!

Meeting his "Uncles" and his namesake-Josh, JoJo and Mike. Days shy of a year here.

From his mini 1 year session-OH NO Mommy!

From his mini 1 year session! Adorable!

I love you Joshua. Happy 1st birthday, miracle baby!

An Elephant Never Forgets...

2010-01-27T05:29:00.005-06:00

So, my 4 year old's memory ALWAYS amazes me. If he retains this type of memory, I'm in big trouble later in life! After we got home from school today, Jacob and JoJo were watching our new 40th anniversary Sesame Street movies while I was making grilled cheese. This is about how Jacob and I's conversation went:

Jacob: Mommy, remember that one time 500 months (okay-so his time table is a little off haha!) ago when after school we went to see the REAL Elmo at Bitburg?

Mommy: I do remember that Cubby. It was lots of fun.

Jacob: I know, I know! It was really fun! But, Mommy, I was a little bit mad at you.

Mommy (a little shocked and saddened by this): Cubby why in the world were you mad at mommy? We had so much fun!

Jacob: I KNOW we had fun mommy. I even got to give Elmo a hug, BUT YOU (very accusatory tone here) told me Big Bird would be there and he WASN'T! *gasp*

Mommy: I'm so sorry Cubby, I figured he would be. But, there were lots of other Sesame Street friends there.

Jacob: I know Mommy, there was Elmo, Zoe, Grover, Cookie Monster and Rosita. It was so fun. But I was really counting on Big Bird to be there.

Ouch. Sorry Cubby. And while I appreciate your ability to remember fun times we've had together, I really hope you forget those little things and don't hold them over my head for the rest of my life! Silly boy!! So, here's to Elmo and all of our Sesame Street friends and the nice mom next to me who took some pictures and e-mailed them to me because I forgot my camera!!

Trying to see over all the other kids. They gave out those cool Elmo things he's holding for free to all the kids. Thank you, USO!

Cubby telling me about it and JoJo dancing! Fun!

JoJo as loving it!

Dancing.

So happy!

Watching Elmo

The whole gang that was there.

Taking Grandma to the park!

2010-01-13T06:27:00.005-06:00

For Grandma's first full day here, it was snowing a ton, and Jacob decided he wanted to take Grandma to the playground to play! It was so fun! Jacob even wanted to ride his scooter in the snow. Silly, Cubby. We had to come back to play in the snow after a while though, because JoJo was tired. The pictures are backwards again, but here's a little piece of the fun. Grandma sure does know how to play!

Grandma and Cubby doing cheers with their hot chocolate.

cubby with his hot chocolate.

Down the slide at the playground. It goes twice as fast with snow!

Snowball!!

Grandma and Cubby throwing snowballs at each other.

Cubby peeking over at JoJo. You can see JoJo's feet sticking out.

Not too happy about the snow today. It's a hit or miss with JoJo and snow.

Happy to have Grandma here!

So handsome.

JoJo glad to be carried by Grandma.

Cubby on his scooter in the snow. This was a site to see.

Grandma with the boys.

Snow Date!

2010-01-07T13:46:00.005-06:00

So, I ended up picking up Cubby from school a little early today because it was starting to snow pretty hard, and if we got much more on top of what we already had, I knew I wouldn't be able to get to/up our drive. It ended up being really nice, and we got to have some date time just he and I in the snow together. That doesn't happen too often. JoJo was out for a little while, but snow isn't his favorite yet-and it was nap time! It was nice to have time with just Cubby. I think he enjoyed it too. Here a few pics of the boys from our snow adventure today!

Cubby kissed the snowman-for $1.00.

Our pathetic little snowman. It wasn't packable snow, so this is all we really got. He's more like a snowbaby, but he's cute!

Rolling down the hill in the front yard.

I asked cubby to pose-this is what he did. Silly boy. I love this wood pile! Such cool texture!

Sweet Cubby. He LOVES the snow! He's my rosy cheek baby.

Crawling away!

JoJo liked the snow better today, but at this point, he was about done!

Coming down off the bottom of the slide. So fun!

Jo Jo and his runny nose and too big hat. But, it's the only one he'd keep one. Sweet little boy.

So Big

2010-01-04T07:54:00.003-06:00

Jacob wrote his name today-and you could actually tell it said Jacob. He's getting so big. And so smart. Here's to learning to write!

Jacob Israel Oeth: Age 4

2009-12-31T07:11:00.010-06:00

Today is special. Not just because we're about to ring in a new year. Today, 4 years ago, was the day our first son was born. Before he was born, we prayed for a wild and dangerous child. One that could grow to be a fighter and warrior for the Kingdom. We always believed there was a lot in a name, and after weeks and weeks of fighting, we came across the story in Genesis where Jacob wrestled with the Lord all night, and when it was over, he gave him the name Israel, and he was changed. Thus the nameL Jacob Israel Oeth-born 12-31-05 7:36pm 19 1/2 in. 7lbs 4oz.

From the time he was in my belly, he was a strong headed stubborn little man. Every night, as soon as I would fall asleep, Jacob would kick into my ribs and wake me up. Anytime daddy put his face to my stomach to talk to him, he'd kick him right in the noggin'. From before he was born, he knew what he wanted.

Jacob was never a sleeper. He always wanted to be awake and see the world. Be a part of it. He could put up a fight for hours so that he didn't have to sleep. We created what we called the "super sonic sleeper hold", because it was the only thing that could get him to sleep. He was always social, and always had a heart for the people he was around. He truly, even as an infant knew how to rejoice with those who rejoiced and mourn with those who mourned. Somehow, he innately knew how to be a part of the body. It was incredible. He has and always has had a sense of empathy that most adults never experience.

He is a fighter. Stubborn as an ox. He will battle just to see how far he can go. I've come to believe that he does it to see how much he is respected. I know that sounds silly. He's only 4-how can he know what that means? But each time we battle he seems to respect me more for not giving in. He wants people to care. Seems a silly reason to battle, but I think channeled correctly, could be a great asset to fighting for his beliefs and fighting for the Kingdom in the future.

I've been told several times that you should start picking out your children's spiritual gifts as they grow, even before they are old enough to understand them so that as parents we can cultivate them, encourage them and build them up in the things of Christ. Upon examining Cubby's interactions and living with him day to day, I have discovered so many gifts I believe God has given him. First I think He's been given a warrior's spirit. I think he will be one to fight for other's. He loves the underdog (much like his mommy), and desires for everyone to love. He has been given the gift of truth. The ability to tell it like it is, and have total honesty, and while he has not perfected tact, I believe he will be one to truly share truth in love as he grows. He has a giving spirit. He wants to give of himself and pours all of himself into those he is around. He is contagious. His spirit is contagious. He has the ability to be a leader. He is an intellectual mind. He is persistent and precise. He sees things differently than most. I believe he will be given gifts of the spirit to see things, and understand people in only ways that God can see them.

He is an incredible little boy with a warrior's spirit, and a kind heart. and though many days I am discouraged by our battles, there are so many things about him that I love. His big brown eyes, his infectious laugh, his huge smiles, his one liners, his love for his brother, his desire for others to be happy, his courage, his 100% -ness, his silliness, his imagination....and the list goes on.

Here's to my Cubby Bear. Happy birthday, sweet boy. Mommy loves you MOOOOORE than the most!

Jacob Israel 12-31-05 7:36pm 19 1/2 in 7lb 4oz.

The only way he would sleep for a long time. In his boppy.

Flying Baby!

In Gramma Barbara and Grampy Jerry's Pool.

Fighting Sleep.

When Busy Bear was still blue.

Sweet boy.

So fun and happy!

This was when he got his first tooth.

Happy. Daddy was home from Iraq.

What we hear often.

He's always had a disproportionate butt. Hilarious.

1st Chirstmas with his best friend Jadyn.

Dukie liked to knock him over when he first learned to walk.

Almost 2!

Fishing Picnic.

Loving on Daddy.

2nd Christmas!

California to visit Mike and Lish.

Cozy reading in Lisha's bed.

Wisconsin before leaving for Germany.

Walk in Germany!

Fun at Eifelpark Gondorf with Mommy!

3yr old!

Daddy's in Columbia! We're Happy!

Going to the top of the tallest Bavarian Peak in a Cable Car.

Eating Belgian Waffles in Belgium with Mommy on her birthday.

Edelweiss.

Wishing Weed.

Showing his strutt.

He learned how to pee in the bushes this year.

Fall shoot. So handsome.

Christmas time!

First snow of the year, and last snow as a three year old!

Happy Birthday Cubby!!

2009-A Year of Trial and Blessing

2009-12-31T02:16:00.006-06:00

2009 has definitely been a year of both trial and blessing, and coupled with 2008 has probably been the most difficult two years of my short life, with more lessons to learn than I could have ever imagined. So now, the last day of 2009, it's time to reminisce, reconsider, and contemplate 2009.

09' started out difficult. We were away from Aaron, living out of suitcases for 3 months and counting and waiting for sweet baby Joshua to make an appearance. In the works were foot surgery and heart surgery and it made life that much more stressful. Jan. was a month of anticipation, anxiety, worry, desire and great hope. What a blessing it was to be around family, especially my mom to be around through it.

Feb. brought both blessing and sadness. We finally got to see Aaron for the first time since Oct. 08'. And with him coming came the birth of our second son. Handsome Joshua Michael Oeth, our gentle spirit. Our little breath of fresh air. But sadly, he had to return to Germany and the scheduling of surgeries began.

March brought a lot of medical appointments; heart caths, pre-ops, major foot surgery, echos, neurological appointments, MRI's, a plethora of crap, really. After foot surgery late March my foot and leg lost much of the feeling it had and started developing a neurological condition that later developed into RSD, but that's for later in the year. It was a time of contemplating, missing my husband through the stress and exhaustion of the medical system, and worry about my kids and longing for them to be in their permanent home.

But then came April. A hard beginning, and a joyful end. April brought surgery to fix my heart and a walking boot for my foot. End of April I was so blessed by my best friend flying home to Germany with me and staying for a week. What a relaxing, fun week! reunited with my sweet husband, time in Europe with Charvel-even though it wasn't quite like we'd always planned :)-and putting my boys back where they rightfully belonged. In our home. It was a relief.

May/June/July were difficult months. I still couldn't drive, I was re-acclimating to living in a foreign country, learning how to be a stay at home mom, finding new doctors and getting back in to the swing of the medical thing. I learned during this time that loneliness breeds A LOT of ugly things and struggles I don't think anyone ever wants to believe we deal with. I grew increasingly angry and bitter toward a lot of things and people, some justified, some not, which I still struggle with to this day. The more lonely I became, the easier it was to push people away and to feed the bitterness and angriness. Somewhere along these three months, I lost true joy. I was in a lot of pain, physically, and my psyche was suffering. I lost a lot these three months. There was a lot, in hindsight that I should have taken control of, but never did, and it got out of hand. I guess you get to a point of such discouragement in so many areas of life, you just stop being forgiving, and stop showing compassion. Either way, I lost a big piece of myself those three months that I am still trying to recover. It hasn't been an easy road, and the anger and bitterness still creeps in and eats away when I least expect it. Those three months I began losing my faith in people, and somewhere along the line stopped trusting. I truly wish I could have those three months back. But, I also know that the times we are being pruned can be the most painful times. It's a double edged sword I suppose.

The fall though, brought new possibility and great hope. I started driving again, and while I couldn't express to Aaron what I was feeling, he knew. He kept encouraging me to do something for myself, specifically pull my camera that had been tucked away for months, back out. He wanted me to start doing something I loved again. To find worth in myself and know that I had something to offer. I have to say, I am SO grateful for my husband. Beyond words. So, I pulled my camera back out and by September had started Kayla Oeth Photography. It has been one of the greatest blessings of the year! In 4 short months, I have been able to buy some new equipment, open a studio (thanks to my awesome hubby), and now have over 75 clients and counting. It's incredible. It's re-shown me beauty in people, and I have been blessed by each of my clients in different ways. It's incredible. We also got to travel a little finally. Brussels, and the Bavarian Alps, namely. But beautiful incredible blessings. I also finally started getting involved with the Buechel Spouses Group and met some awesome women who I think will become great friends. Fall was good. It was a time of growth and rediscovery, a time when I realized the struggles of the summer and started to confront them. Although some of my obedience and following conviction was never answered, it was still a relief to know I still knew how to listen and be obedient to His voice. Something I hadn't truly done in a while.

Winter has brought a little of everything. Car trouble. More heart trouble. New symptoms. A new wave of loneliness and bitterness, but sweet precious time with my family. And beautiful snow. The creator gives me new glimpses everyday that regardless of how I'm feeling, HIS beauty is everywhere. It's peaceful really. And now today. New Year's Eve brings us the blessing of life-the day Jacob was born (but he's for another post!). What a way to end a year.

In 2010 I'm looking forward to stability, growth in friendships (both new and old), re-learning how to hear the voice of God so in the lonely times I know truth from imitation, gaining back compassion and empathy that used to be such a great gift, spending more quality time with my family, and hopefully lots of visitors. I think it's going to be a good year. Hopefully the pruning is starting to be completed for a season and we can see the rewards and growth in new light.

So, here's to 2009! Love and appreciate you all and Happy New Year! (The pictures posted in kind of a strange order-Have to start at the bottom and go up-or see year in reverse! :) Whoops!)

Family Christmas Photo! Yay for Sefl-Timers!!

JoJo's First Snow.

First snow!!

Sweet Joshua's First Christmas!

Cubby Bear

My boys at Thanksgiving.

Fall Shoot with the boys! GOOOO Chiefs!

Top of tallest Bavarian Peak. Absolute beauty!!

Edelweiss w/ the boys. Brother man love, right there!!

Cubby- 3 1/2 yr. shoot

Joshua's 6 month photo shoot!

Sweet boys after daddy left Columbia!

Loves the rain in Germany!! Time to play in it!

Happy boy-getting so big.

Got to bring my best friend with me for a week! Love Charvel!

Back in Germany with Daddy! It feels so good!

Before Daddy had to leave to go back to Germany.

First family picture with Joshua!

Joshua Michael Oeth 9:35 PM Feb. 17, 2009 20 1/2in 7lbs 7 oz.

Daddy's in Columbia! YAY!

And we're finally potty trained! A date with mommy is in order! Great way to start 09'!

A Little Bit of Frustration...

2009-11-28T07:02:00.002-06:00

So this month has been one of those month's where living in Germany has been a challenge, and everything seems like a fight. The frustration is starting to get to me a little bit, and today was no exception. I was SO excited when I woke up because we were going to buy a Christmas tree and going to go to our first Christmas Market. So we got the kids loaded up got everything ready and as SOON as we got out of the driveway, the back windshield wiper stopped working and the radio just shut off.

Now, before I continue, let me first remind everyone that the Honda is still currently broken and waiting for the $400 compressor we just had to order after our awful day in Landstuhl when it busted on the way to our appointment. For those of you that were involved or who heard that story, that's a whole other can of worms. SO, Aaron got out of the car and starts trying to assess the problem, playing with fuses and such. So we start driving and two second later the check engine light comes on. No Christmas trees or markets in our future today.

So, now we are down two cars, and out who knows how much more money. I guess Christian (our mechanic) will tell us on Monday. Hopefully the compressor for the Honda comes in on Monday so we can have one fully functional car. And for the love, hopefully nothing else goes wrong.

I guess I'm even more frustrated because when we came here, in terms of cars, we were in a pretty good place with the Focus. It was a newer car, almost paid off, with a pretty low payment, decent priced insurance, and INCREDIBLE gas mileage. Like 30 mpg on a bad day. 40 on a good day. And then out of no where one day we get run over by a landrover and have two older vehicles that have issues, mostly just because of their age. I'm not one to go out and buy a brand new car, because I can't justify having a $500-$600 car payment. Not to mention car insurance over here is highway robbery. I wish $25,000 would just fall out of the sky so we could buy a new car. But, I doubt that will happen anytime soon. And we have a settlement in the works from the accident, but since my treatment for my foot is ongoing, there can't be anything done until analysis and treatment is final. It's so frustrating.

So, I guess my point is, tis' the season, and good-bye Christmas money, hello new car parts. I just wish we could catch a break! Seriously. Since August we've been having car issues, and it just hasn't stopped. Here's to hoping....

Today's Blessings...

2009-10-28T11:21:00.002-05:00

Today is one of those days that I feel annoyed. I'm struggling, and it's a day I need to count my blessings to keep my head above the water. I hope some of you know what I'm talking about. So, here are the blessings I've found in today:

*Joshua's laughter and giggles

*After nap hugs from my boys. They're the best.

*A message on my facebook wall from Elizabeth telling me she was thinking of me and she missed me. I needed that.

*A morning with my husband. Even though he has to work until midnight. It was night to have him around until almost ten.

*Hearing about all the things Jacob did at school.

*Talking to my mom.

*JoAnn offering to watch the boys on Monday without me even asking. What a huge blessing! Thanks, JoAnn!!

*A quiet hour to relax and have a bath.

*A beautiful crisp fall day where I got to have my back door open all day long. Amazing.

*Pink Lemonade

*Getting to order a few new shirts!! Can't wait until they come in!

*Getting to have some quiet alone time in the house tonight after the guys go to bed, even though I'm sad that Aaron has to work so late.

*Grilled cheese and tomato soup dinner.

Yes, blessings everywhere. Take a deep breath, it will be a good night!

The Things I Took For Granted....

2009-10-27T07:05:00.006-05:00

So I've noticed the last couple weeks that we are rarely home. And when we are we're busy. Between the photography business, the obnoxious amount of medical appointments, Jacob going to German kindergarten, exercises at Aaron's work, my increased involvement in the spouse's group and a cache of other things, we rarely have time for anything anymore. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing. We had previously been hurting for involvement. For interaction with people. That being said, it is really making me realize that I really took for granted having the opportunity to be still. Mostly because I didn't see it as opportunity, but rather as stagnation. I guess hindsight is 20/20. In all this, I've realized a number of other things I have taken for granted, and thought it might be an interesting thing to blog about, so here goes, a list, in no particular order, of things that I have in my life, unknowingly taken for granted that have had effects, some profound on how my life is now:

1) I took the last year and a half for granted.

I had absolutely nothing to do the last year (with the exception of doctor's appointments). I couldn't drive. I had the opportunity to sit at home, and be with the boys. To be still, and take in life, and just rest. Something, I don't think in my entire adult life I remember having the opportunity to do. And instead of taking it as blessing and seeing it as opportunity I automatically assumed I was stagnating and spent the entire time questioning and wondering where my life was going and was getting frustrated that God had brought me to this place where He had nothing for me. On the contrary, I think He had a great deal for me, that I passed up, because instead of focusing on what blessing might be entangled with the mess that was going on I became self absorbed in stagnation, and forgot that blessing does come in hardship. I took for granted what could have been the most restful year and a half in my life. A restful year and a half I may never get again. That's not to say I'm not totally enjoying what I have now. The photography is awesome. The people I'm meeting and getting to know are amazing. Jacob going to school is great. But there are days, that I long for the quiet and the opportunity to sit and have a week where I do NOTHING (*gasp* Kayla Oeth wants to do NOTHING!). I definitely have a new outlook on rest and a whole new perspective on that being still thing.

2. My naivety.

There was a time in my life that I was kind of just naive to the world. I believed that everyone was good. I trusted everyone. Whether they hurt me and took advantage of me a million times or not. I was quick to forgive, and never easily angered, if angered at all. I was about as far from as a realist as you could get, and because of this, I had the utmost compassion and empathy for every person I met. My heart literally broke a million times a day because I took on each person's burdens I met. But, I didn't know any different, so to me, it was a blessing, because I could help people. It wasn't until I realized what it was and I started to feel like it was a burden that I started taking it for granted. And there were days I didn't want it anymore. And the more I grew up, the more I lost it, because I thought it was a burden. And now I'm more of a realist than I could have ever imagined being, and I don't want to be one. I want to be naive and trusting again. I want to love that unconditional love again and easily forgive and not be easy to anger and not know the feeling of bitterness. I want that uncontrollable compassion and empathy again, because now looking back, I see it is not the burden, but instead, it is God's heart for His people. It is God giving me His heart. That is the way His heart breaks for His people. I desire to have that back. But when I've seen evil, how do you get the innocence back? It's a battle I fight every day, and I'm sad now I ever saw it as a burden and long for the days I knew not what it was but accepted it and unconditionally loved what I had, because it meant I could more thoroughly love the people my heart broke for.

3. Jacob's Newborn Time

9 days after Jacob was born I went back to school full time and was working 25-30 hours a week. I loved my job, the kids I worked with, and loved school. I still desire to finish. I don't think there's anything wrong with a mother who also desires to have a career (also something I've wrestled with), but now having had these last 8 months as a stay at home mom with Joshua, I am sad and regret not having that time with Jacob. I do know that that was another place and time, and that Jacob was a different kind of baby. He was difficult. Amazing, a blessing, but difficult. Aaron was deployed for 6 months during his infancy. I needed time for me as well. We had amazing people who were like family to help with Jacob. It takes a village, right? And because I know these things, it makes it a little easier, but I do feel like some of the things I did then were more because I felt like they were the expectations of others more so then I felt I needed to do them right then, and that makes me disappointed in myself. I see all the amazingness in what I've gotten out of spending so much time with Joshua, and I look at Cubby turning into such a big boy, and it breaks my heart that I missed a lot of that with him. But it is what it is, and I realize I took his newborn time for granted. I see it now, and won't do it with any of my other children.

4. My Friends

I take my friends for granted every day. I'm such a terrible long distance friend. And then I get hurt when I feel like I don't know anything about them. Then why don't I do something about it? Because I let life get in the way. That should be no excuse. I take them for granted and that's all there is to it. That's not to say the road doesn't go both ways, and that's not to say that doesn't suck, but I get it. And I take them for granted. And I need to do better. Or I have no room to be sad and complain about it. Friends are something that are not to be taken for granted. These are people who are like family, who have been there through some of the happiest and hardest parts of life, who are the closest thing next to blood to our kids. And even if we're far away now, we're going to be close again one day, and we need to fix things now, so it's good when we're close again. If I recognize that I take friends for granted, and don't do something about, what good does that do? We were built for fellowship, for accountability and to function as a body, and if I let life get in the way and become a lone ranger because of it, what good am I to the Kingdom?

Alright, well this is a lot more lengthy than I imagined, and while there are many other things I have taken for granted, we'll leave it at this for now so people will actually read it!! Hope everyone is having a great Tuesday!!

Love you all!

The Strong Willed Child...

2009-10-23T00:40:00.004-05:00

So I've been mulling a lot over what it really takes to raise a true strong willed child, and if I have what it takes, and if I didn't have what it takes, why God would have given me a strong willed child. It's been an interesting battle with my myself, and a battle that I've lost more days than I've won. I've read books, I've talked to people (mostly people who had no idea what I was going through and just wanted to tell me what I was doing wrong when all I wanted them to do was listen), I've prayed some, and I've wrestled with myself a lot. Still I haven't found a whole lot of answers. And I've come to the conclusion that I don't think there are a whole lot of answers. I think there is patience. I think there is endurance. I think there is gentleness. And I think there is unconditional love. What else can there be?

I don't think I'll ever understand why Jacob has the need for the power struggles. I truly believe he knows what the outcome of each will be, but for some reason he still feels the need to test, to be sure that each time I will continue to fight and prove that I still have it in me and that I still love him enough and have enough respect for myself as his parent and his mother to win the battle. He is fiery. He is passionate. He is hard headed. He is strong willed. A TRUE strong willed child. It is difficult, but there is still something truly amazing and beautiful about it.

Nothing bothers me more than people who try to empathize and say "oh I know my child is stubborn too, they do this and this and that". I just want to be like, "Let me send you my kid for two days and see if you're still alive!" Not to undermine any parent's difficulty they have with their kid, it's all relative, but a true strong willed child is different (Barbara, you know what I'm talking about!). There are days that you want to go in your bedroom and shut yourself off to the world and just cry. But you can't. You can't show a single sign of weakness or your child will take complete advantage of it and take it for everything it is worth. If you ever give them a single inch they will take 5 miles. I've had people ask me why we are so tough on Jacob, and surely people, including our own families judge us about how we discipline Cubby, but if we don't set strict rules, he goes out of control. People who don't have a child like him or don't live with him don't get it. And it drives me crazy when people judge or question because they don't have a 3 year old like him. It's frustrating.

There are days I feel like I'm going crazy. I wonder why God thought I (we) was equipped to handle such a strong willed child. Then there are days when he's so well behaved and so amazing, and I see the way his fiery passion can be channeled and the way God wants to use the gifts he gave Cubby, and everything changes. God wouldn't have given us a kid like Cubby if he wouldn't have equipped us in some way for it. And we wouldn't have prayed for a dangerous wild kid and gotten it if God didn't desire for us to have it. His name is Jacob Israel for a reason.

I have to remember to pray when it is difficult. And to have patience. And to endure. And to love. And to have a mother's gentle heart and touch. And trust that God has equipped me to raise my strong willed child to have a strong willed heart for HIS kingdom. Even if it is one of the hardest things I have ever done....

Some Things I've Learned...

2009-10-19T05:32:00.004-05:00

So, here are some things I've learned, both about myself and about life and others in the couple month hiatus I had from blogging. Some are simple things. Some are hard things. Some are funny things. And some are just things, in no particular order.

1. I am a horrible long distance friend.

2. No matter how much I believe I am not fit to be a stay at home mom, and regardless how much I suck at being the typical "house wife", I am truly enjoying the stay-at-home-mom-dom for the time being, although some days I feel like I am going to go crazy.

3. I truly believe I have the greatest husband in the world.

4. I have learned that while penny pinching can be a good thing, and fear of debt isn't a bad thing, sometimes letting loose a little and splurging to have a great day with the most amazing three boys on the planet isn't bad. And is totally worth it.

5. I have learned that no matter how much it hurts, sometimes people care about other friendships more than ours and ours will never be enough of a priority to really make it count because we live another continent away, so all we can do is just keep loving the way we love, giving the way we give and offering what we have to offer.

6. I have come to think that endurance is the single strongest test and builder of character.

7. Photography has re-instilled my absolute love and passion for people and I think each person has something unique and wonderful to offer the world.

8. While I am so sad to see Jacob growing so fast, I absolutely love big boy Jacob. Even though he makes me SO mad with his stubborn strong willed personality some days, he in some way, shape or form makes me proud EVERY day. Whether it be writing a new letter, speaking Deutsch, building an outrageously cool and intense train track, or being so sweet it melts my heart, it is so cool to watch him grow. I love it.

9. I love that my boys are so different, yet love each other so much, and are such good friends. Both warriors, yet with such different hearts and in such polar opposite ways. Such huge pieces of the Kingdom. One gentle, and one fiery. Two parts of one body. Incredible.

10. Aaron could not be a better daddy, and I'm so glad I have gotten to grow up with him and experience the worst of times and the best of times with him to see how incredible he has turned out, because I think it's made me appreciate him all the more.

11. I have the best parents in the world. Hands down.

12. I don't think I appreciate God's beauty enough, and I'm sad about that. I need to make an effort to do it more.

13. I am insecure. I don't like to be vulnerable, but I am. But, there are things about myself that I like. And every day, there are more things about myself that I find that I like, and I like that. I want to be confident.

14. I like that my dog is neurotic. She fits into our family perfectly.

15. I think that I reminisce too much. Things were what they were and they are what they are and I need to accept that and live in the here.

16. I'm really starting to enjoy some of the friends I'm making here, and hope they can turn into some lasting friendships. I guess we'll see!

17. I miss worship and fellowship, but need to stop comparing and find something here. Even if it is Driscoll or McQueen on the computer screen once a week. And discussion on skype once a week. And even more so, I need accountability.

18. I love my boys more than life itself, but I absolutely covet that all my friends are having/have had baby girls! What the heck?!

19. I miss Thursday coffee nights with Charvel and Elizabeth more than anything else I miss.

20. I think questioning is one of the biggest parts of faith, and I admit I do it often.

21. My boys are my sunshine, and life is good!! :)

Love you all! I really am going to try and start blogging more, but for now, it's time to clean the kitchen!!

I've Been Tagged

2009-07-22T07:34:00.004-05:00

8 things I am looking forward to:

1. Taking Jacob and Joshua to Wisconsin in October so Joshua can meet my grandparents

2. My parents coming to Germany.

3. Meeting Mike and Lisha's baby girl after she's born!

4. Going to the North Sea next month.

5. Christmas (i am always ready for christmas...) --I agree, Jo!!

6. getting to drive again-hopefully soon.

7. starting school again

8. some me time

8 things I did yesterday:

1. Dishes

2. Checked my email, facebook, blogs

3. Laundry

4. Played basketball outside with Cubby

5. Played with Joshua

6. Cooked dinner

7. Shopped on amazon

8. Watched Marley and Me with the hubby before bed.

8 things I wish I could do:

1. Drive.

2. Have some form of fashion sense

3. Knock some sense into people in Washington - agree again, Jo!

4. Wear cute shoes again

5. Have more patience with my three year old.

6. Be able to be happy being still, not so intent on doing everything RIGHT NOW.

7. Be better about keeping up long distance friendships that I value.

8. Keep the house clean, and enjoy doing it.

8 shows I watch: (Don't have many options since I don't have American TV and have to get everything online, but I'll include what I liked stateside!)

1. Grey's Anatomy

2. Lost

3. Dirty Jobs

4. Law and Order: SVU

5. The weather channel

6. Heroes

7. The Office

8. Fox News

8 people I tag:

1. Natalie

2. Bonnie

3. Aunt Pearl

4. Kelly

5. Melissa

6. Steph and David

7. Kristen

8. I'm not sure I know to many others with a blog......

Yuck

2009-07-06T08:07:00.002-05:00

Dear Germany and your Fly Season,

Please go away. You are disgusting. If the flies continue invading my house, I'm going to have a serious issue. Maybe if you'd pick up your trash more than once a month it would help....just a thought.

Sincerely,

Been A While...

2009-06-05T07:19:00.005-05:00

It's been a while since I've updated, and things have been a little crazy. Aaron's been working insane hours (like 18 hour days + weekends), so I've been exceptionally busy keeping the boys busy and trying not to go crazy, which is a challenge when you can't drive!!

Aaron finally got to pin on staff the 1st of June. I'm so proud of him!! He's so good at what he does, and he's been waiting almost a year to pin on, so it's about time! The boys are growing like crazy! May 25th Joshua rolled over for the first time! He's such a big boy! I have it on videotape, and once I put it on my computer I'll be sure to post it! He's been so much fun! Cracking up and playing and rolling. And he wants to sit up and check out the scene all the time. He's a hoot. Jacob is getting so smart. Wrote his name for the first time the other day! It looked a little scary, but I was super proud! We're still wanting to get him into German preschool, but without me driving it's a little difficult! There is a bus that will take him, but I can't imagine sending my THREE year old on a bus to school. That just seems crazy to me. Maybe I'm too overprotective.... I don't know....

Anyway, I'm finally seeing some doctors next week and am intrigued to see what they will have to say. I'm still struggling a good deal, but am learning how to deal with it and am getting better to an extent. I definitely think the prayers are helping. I am at a frustrating point in life, where I feel a little stagnant. I love staying home with the boys and being a stay at home mom and full time wife (I know, I know, write this down in a history book, I bet you never thought you'd hear me say that!), but at the same time I hate having my degree unfinished. It's something I really desire to do, and I know I will be working in that field as the boys get bigger and start school etc., and I hate having that part of my life unfinished. So, I'm struggling with that. I'm kind of just feeling un-useful and like I need to be doing SOMETHING, and I'm just not sure what it is. Guess I'm just going to have to keep waiting for God to speak and to remember that everything is in HIS perfect timing, not my own, regardless of how frustrated I am feeling.

Anyway, here a few pictures from recently. Hopefully I'll have something exciting to update soon!!

My boys!

Jacob's first full attempt at writing his name! Diagonal and interesting looking, but I'm so proud!

Joshua in his jumping bouncer! He LOVES it!

With my handsome husband at his promotion ceremony!

Me and my littlest love at the park!

Me with my boys on the tire swing at the schpeilplatz!

Cubby dancing during dinner! What a ham!

The whole fam at the promotion ceremony! We're so proud of daddy!

Learning Patience....

2009-05-13T04:42:00.006-05:00

So, this last while as I've been struggling with my foot and other things, I've really been asking myself why I've been going through these things. I've always been a strong believer that there are three solid things that affect things that happen in life.

1) God. I believe God causes things to happen. Good and bad. Yes, I said it. Bad things too. I believe God tests us. I've always believed growth is painful. Uncomfortable. Out of our box. In saying that, I also believe that in those particular tests there is always blessing at the other end when we are obedient and faithful through it. So, God is the first playing factor in the things that happen in life.

2) Ourselves. God gives us free will in our decisions. We have the ability to make choices every day and these choices affect and ripple out to so many other things it's incredible. So in each test we encounter there is always a level of our own choosing in the way things go. So in each thing that happens we have to always ask ourselves if the origin of the event was of our own making. So, I think the second factor for things in life are our own choices.

3) Evil. I think the third thing that affects life is Satan and his minions. In saying this though, I also want to make sure I put out there that I DO NOT believe that all bad things that happen are because of evil. Not every bad thing or every trial we encounter is because Satan is trying to attack us. Some of them, indeed are Satan testing us, but I also think extreme blessing and things we consider good things can be Satan making us vulnerable to his games. Remember, Satan is merely imitation. So if he can fool us into believing we are being blessed, or fool us into using our blessing for evil, he has won. It doesn't have to be a horrible event for it to be evil. All that being said, I believe evil is the third factor playing into life.

So, with those three things, I've been trying to sort out the last year of my life. Putting to play all my actions, all of the things I feel God has been doing and pick out where I feel Satan has used my vulnerability to bring me down. Man, did I open a can of worms. I'll be honest when I first started sorting it out my first automatic instinct was to go straight for Satan. Blame him for everything. I didn't want to ask God why he was testing me. Let's be honest, usually when I do that, I get an answer, and when I get an answer it is pointing out a human flaw, something I need to work on in myself. Basically it kicks my butt, and I don't like that.

Every time I pointed my finger at Satan and said "well he was attacking me here and here and here", the answer was never satisfying. Then I started blaming things on myself. "Well if I wouldn't have done this, or this, or this". Blaming things on myself still seemed easier then holding myself accountable to Christ for some reason, because if it was things I SHOULD have done, I could still come to a realization they were things I couldn't change now so I'd just have to deal. If it was something I needed to become accountable to Christ to, ultimately it was something I would have to change and grow through and until the growth took place, the blessing wouldn't come, and that would mean obedience was necessary. So, it seemed easier to blame myself. But still, no satisfaction.

It wasn't until after I brought my long time friend and accountability sister, Charvel to Germany that I got a piece of my answer. She stayed a week and then went home. Shortly after she went home I had been talking about how I was struggling because I wasn't healing nearly as fast as I thought I should be and I was in so much pain and it was really getting to me and then I got an email from her. And she said something that seemed so simple, but to me, was so profound. She said "We can't get tomorrow's strength today, but we know God will give us as much as we need. As I watched you this past week, I saw that you were so patient with your kids and you relied on His grace to get you through each day even when it was hard. Now you need to learn to use that grace and be patient with yourself....."

OUCH.

How long and how many things has God put me through trying to teach me that? Seriously? I have NEVER had patience with myself! I have this freak standard for myself that no one could live up to and that no one should HAVE to live up to. I'm too independent. I have a husband who WANTS to take care of me. Who WANTS me to be patient with myself. I NEED to be patient with myself so I can heal for my kids. I don't know how I could be so blind. Anyway, I'm sure there is SO much more to it, but I think this is a HUGE piece of it. I'm not sure why it took a year to see it, but I'm so thankful that a simple, encouraging e-mail from a friend was such a huge kick in the butt.

I'm not saying this is the only piece of this trial, an there are definitely pieces that I've been vulnerable and that Satan has taken advantage of me and there are definitely pieces where my free-will has caused me to be blinded to what Christ was trying to show me, drawing it out, making the growth process longer. All three parts play together. But this piece, this piece was a huge light bulb. Something I needed. A huge encouragement. So here I am, an admittedly overly-independent, a refuse-to-ask-for-help-or-admit-I'm-struggling-woman, admitting I'm struggling, accepting help and pledging to be patient with myself. I know it won't be easy. But patience isn't meant to be for others only. It's a fruit of the spirit for all parts of life, including for myself.

"Jesus didn't really know how to die very good"

2009-05-03T04:31:00.002-05:00

So, we've been talking a lot about Jesus around our house and Cubby is starting to understand a lot more and he has been cracking me up at his explanations and at the same time I LOVE his childlike faith. In honor of his understanding, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite quotes.

"Jesus died on a cross, but he was born an itty bitty tiny weeny baby, but then he growed up and that's when the ones who didn't like him made him die on the cross, when he was bigger."

"Jesus died on the cross, but then three days later he got alive again. Well, he got alive again because he really just didn't know how to die very good, ya' know? He was just alive again. Now he'll come again later. He died on the cross, but he just couldn't die very good."

"Dear Jesus, thank you for mommy and daddy and Cubby and Joshua and Layla and you died and the cross because you loved us so I have to thank you very much because of that and now I got all my really cool spaceship and rocket stuff for my bedroom."

Those are just a few of my favorites, but I think it's pretty neat. Hope some of them made you smile as much as they made me smile. Love you all!

And we're back in the game!!!

2009-04-26T12:19:00.005-05:00

So, we returned to Germany this week!! We are SO excited to be back with Aaron!! My best friend Charvel was brave enough to be my travel buddy and come back with me to help out on the plane with the boys! Not going to lie, it was a little rough! Joshua was fantastic and slept pretty much the whole time, but Jacob was a whole other story! Either way, we made it home! It's great to be here! I still have yet to unpack all of our bags and all of our boxes we sent home but I'll work on that when Charvel leaves Tuesday!! It's just nice to be home with my husband!! And Jacob is really loving having his daddy and Joshua latched right on and thinks Aaron is just hilarious! It's so fun! Since Charvel's been here we've been to a few fun places and done some exploring despite my big boot and struggling foot, so I'll post a few fun pictures from that!! Oh, it's good to be home! Now, to find some friends.....

Love you all!

Aaron and Joshua at a restaurant in Zell-Mosel.

Joshua and I at the Schnitzel place in Zell-Mosel. This is shortly after I got puked on. He is hiding the puke running down my shirt. Awesome.

Joshua's first trip to the park down the street from our house! That's Jacob in the background going up the stairs!

The signs our landlords granddaughters made for us! They are so cute!

The whole familt together again! And Joshua's first trip to Cochem!

Cubby and Daddy being silly heads!!

Me and Charvel by a fountain in Cochem!!

This is to document Joshua's first traveling tourist trip in Germany! He and Cubby by a fountain in Cochem! Thay stroller is all kinds of fun on the cobblestone streets!!

Easter Time!

2009-04-12T14:56:00.004-05:00

I love Easter. It's always such an awesome time of blessing. It's the day our Lord is risen. It's the day those who gave something up are rewarded after 40 days of sacrifice. It's a time when kids get to dress up and search for eggs and get baskets full of fun things. It's a time to sit around a table with people we love and have a delicious feast. It's a time of immense thankfulness for the lives we are given. And of course, I love the pastels :)!

Anyway, this Easter, more than most, I was super thankful for the blessings I've been given, even in a season of difficulty. It's no secret to anyone that the last year hasn't exactly been a pretty one for me, or my family for that matter. Just in the last month I've had foot surgery, a procedure to fix my heart, my mom broke her ankle, my grandma had a supplemental knee surgery to her knee replacement and my 5 year old niece was diagnosed with epilepsy. Not exactly a fun month, to say the least. But in the midst of it, I am blessed. I have two beautiful boys and a husband who loves me. I have a home waiting for me in Germany. I have a family who loves me and would help me in any circumstance, even when they themselves are struggling. I have beautiful and amazing friends who fight the good fight along side me, no matter the cost. And I have a loving and merciful savior, who even in the tough stuff, guards and protects my heart so that I may have a peace that passes all understanding. How can I NOT be thankful?

On top of that, I've realized the last week or so the VAST amount of people who are missing out on the good news of Christ and how much Satan and his minions are stirring up the truth of Christ in our world. For example, my church in Texas sent out an Easter mailing to invite people to church for Easter Sunday. It was meant to target the masses. The unchurched. It was meant to hit real life. It read "Does God give a ....?" Fill in the blank yourself. It's real life. This made front page news in Abilene and outraged so many. Believers and non. If this simple mailer to invite people to church, and to show them real life and connect with people who would otherwise never connect to the church is such an outrage, how are we ever supposed to share Christ? It made me realize how much we truly are sheep amongst wolves and how much Satan is doing to play Christians against Christians.

Then I was so disheartened on facebook to see so many people calling Easter "zombie Jesus" day and how they thought it was corrupting the world. If they only knew.... Anyway, I guess the point of all that is to say that I am so thankful for my merciful God, and yet my heart breaks for those who do not know. My prayer is for all to know the grace and mercy of Jesus and for all to be showered with his immense blessings. There is no greater gift...

On that note, here are some pictures of the boys from today! Happy Easter, beautiful friends! I am thankful for each of you!

Jacob crashed out after Easter activities.

Mommy and Joshua.

Joshua playing in his little man outfit!

Jacob, Eliyah and Brookson before the Easter egg hunt. Also before Brookson fell down the window well. Yes, this is my family.

That's my happy boy! He loves playing with mommy!

With my boys!

Daddy and Jacob on Easter!

Cubby opening his Easter basket!

Joshua laughing!

What a personality!

2009-04-09T16:22:00.006-05:00

So the last two weeks or so, Joshua has REALLY started coming into his own personality and laughing and playing a lot! He loves his toys and he loves to imitate mommy and all his friends, especially when they stick their tongues out at him! He also like it when you get his nose. It's fantastic. Between him and Jacob, we're in for some serious laughs and smiles. I was scared for all these boys, but what fun they all are! I thought I'd post a few of his personality pictures from the last few days! I hope this makes everyone's day...or at least makes you smile, even just a little bit!!

Love you all!

Finally, A Blog!!

2009-04-08T19:45:00.005-05:00

So, for a long time I have wanted to start blogging to help people keep up with life, and it wasn't until just this week I was convicted about how horribly I do long distance on keeping people updated about life! On that note, here we go!!
So, here are the main events from the last year in a nutshell:

May 08: Move to Germany
June 08:Move into a house, Find out we're expecting!!
July 08: Major Car Accident, Kayla can't walk
August 08: Kayla still can't walk
September 08: Find out some major medical things, prepare to send Kayla and Jacob to US for 6 months to get medical care and have new baby
October 08: Find out baby #2 is a boy! Kayla and Jacob head to the states
November 08: Find out Kayla's breathing problems are related to a hole in her heart, Kayla and Cubby head to Texas for Thanksgiving to see old friends, Aaron goes to friends for Thanksgiving in Germany (what, we have friends?!)
December 08: Jacob has birthday party! He's three now!
January 09: Pregnancy starting to make Kayla very sick, anticipation grows to have Joshua come and Aaron in the states for a bit
February 09: Aaron comes to states and Joshua arrives! Cubby is very happy to be a big brother! Sadly, this is also the month Aaron goes back to Germany!
March 09: Kayla gets heart procedure and finds a second hole in her heart, Kayla has major foot surgery to correct complications from car accident injuries. Kayla, the boys and Aaron start preparing for family returning to Germany!

And that brings us to this month! I'm getting my heart fixed on Friday the 10th, Joshua is growing like a weed, laughing and smiling and starting to be aware of toys, and Jacob can't stop talking about our return to Germany! Aaron has been cleaning the house like a mad man and on April 21st we'll be leaving the states to continue our adventure overseas!! Hopefully I'll be disciplined and keep this updated and post a lot of pictures! I'll add a few from the last few months

My boys!

Jacob being a ninja for Halloween!

Mommy w/ flowers Cubby brought me after my foot surgery

Playing w/ PhotoBooth while Aaron was stateside

Joshua Michael 2/17/09 9:35pm 21" 7lb 7 oz